


Burn

by Lady_Amarant



Series: Fire [1]
Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-06 06:37:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Amarant/pseuds/Lady_Amarant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Alvin and Jude find, there are four stages to burning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Smolder

Sometimes, Alvin just knew right away when a job would be easier than others. He could look around, see what was going on, and just _know._ When his latest job included pretending to save and follow until he got paid a woman so sheltered that she literally knew the world from books and was so caught up in her own problems she barely noticed anything else and a teen boy so pale and thin he barely looked like he could fight and passed out as soon as he was safe on the boat for Aladhi Seahaven, well. If he was on this job long enough that the next time he visited Xian Du his mother realized that nice man that knew a lot about her son was gone, he’d be surprised.

The kid did look pretty bad, though. Flushed, and breathing heavily in his sleep. Curious, Alvin pulled off a glove and pressed two fingers against almost visible pulse in his throat, frowning as he felt the rapid beat and scorching heat against his skin. Geez, the kid better not better not be sick. The sun probably wasn’t helping, hot and bright enough to make even him feel a little dizzy. “Yo,” he called out to Maxwell, watching her turn slightly towards him. “Think you want to get below deck?” He picked up the lithe unconscious body, nodding towards the stairs down.

Her eyes raked over them, calculating. That wasn’t good. Maybe she wasn’t so spacey she’d be completely blind to the fire that burned inside him. “Yes, of course,” she said finally in her stern, almost distant voice. She swept past him, seeming to barely give thought to Jude’s predicament. What was actually going on in her head... it was anyone’s guess. Her reactions were so otherworldly that it made it hard to read and anticipate. This woman could be more danger than he originally thought, if he couldn’t figure out what she knew and what was still hidden.

Maybe... it might be better to put her down now. It might save his own skin later on.

It wasn’t until they were beneath deck that Jude started to rouse, opening glassy eyes and looking up at him before screwing them shut again. Great. The kid did have a fever. Just his luck that the one that got sick was the medical student. “Where am I...?” came his distant voice, strangely just weak. One would think if he was sick, his voice would sound a lot rougher. His eyes cracked open, a slit of gold as his head turned, looking. “A ship? What-” His eyes opened wide as strength returned to his voice, his gaze sharpening as memories started to return. “I’m a criminal,” he whispered.

And there it was. Alvin suppressed a sigh as Jude shifted in his arms, moving to put him down. He really was an honors student, horrified at the thought he had done something catastrophically wrong. At least teenage boys were easy enough to read and manipulate, unlike supposed Lord of Spirits in the shape of a beautiful woman. If all else failed, short of killing both of them, he could always sleep with the kid and use that to turn him against Maxwell.

* * *

Elize was a little cutie, and even Alvin wasn’t immune to her charms. He could do without the floating doll, and why Maxwell hadn’t set the damned thing on fire yet was a mystery to them all. Then again, considering it wasn’t an active threat to her or her mission, she probably didn’t care about it. Or maybe she had fallen prey to Elize’s cute face too, who knew.

Jude wasn’t immune either. It shouldn’t have surprised Alvin as much as it did that he was as good as he was with kids. Elize seemed to have attached herself immediately to him, silently holding onto his arm as they exited the Sapstrath Highroad into Sharilton. If he hadn’t been looking at that exact moment, he would have missed the moment when Jude shifted so his slim hand took her tiny one. It was so cute he felt his teeth rotting and his heart lurching.

Somehow, Jude still hadn’t managed to completely shake whatever it was. He seemed better at night, without the hot sun beating down on him, but it still came in waves. Never as bad as the first time on the boat, though. Alvin would never let him live down fainting again. A part of him made him wonder if it was contagious. There were a few mornings where he woke up feeling worse than when he fell asleep a few times, almost dizzy on standing or under the hot sun. The feeling persisted throughout the day, but never overwhelming him. Thankfully.

The kids had fallen behind. Alvin turned to look, seeing Jude kneeling before the young girl as she whispered shyly in his ear. A long stretch of neck revealed itself as he bent his head towards her, and Alvin found himself beating down the urge to walk over and pull the collar down the rest of the way, press his lips against the pulse just barely hidden there. No, right now wouldn’t be the appropriate time. Jude turned to look up at him, and for a brief bizarre moment, Alvin had a feeling that those gold eyes saw past him, past the barriers barely holding himself together. Kid already proved he was more perceptive than he originally thought, at least when it came to battles. If he saw through him, Alvin had no doubts he’d be able to take him in a battle, but oh boy would he rather not want to do that.

Instead, Jude kept a hold of Elize’s hand as he stood, coming over to him so he could say in a low voice, “Elize isn’t feeling well. We’re going to go on ahead to the inn so she can get some rest, okay?”

Elize pressed her pale face into Jude’s leg when Alvin looked at her, still shy. “Fine by me,” he said breezily, affecting a carefree tone. It’d give him time to send message by sylphjay and talk with the Lord of Sharilton. There were enough sides he’d be able to play here that would be able to advance his own plans. “Though you might want to run it by Milla first so she knows where you ran off to.”

The relieved smile he gave the older man wormed its way under the carefree mask, sticking uncomfortably with him as Jude went to tell Maxwell where he and the little cutie were going. She was talking to someone, a familiar looking woman of noble bearing and gentle demeanor- oh ho. If he was right, that was definitely the sister of the Lord of Sharilton. Alvin had to admit, sometimes Maxwell did make his work easier for him. It was impressive just how easily she did it too. If he could just predict when that was going to happen, or figure out just how much she knew about Exodus and Elympios...

* * *

What was he doing? Alvin listened to the sounds of Xian Du bustling outside as he stared up at the ceiling. What was he doing back here, with them? Everything was falling in the wrong order, tumbling in a way that felt out of control. Not here, not so close to all the memories and the king of Auj Oule and with Milla- _Maxwell_ finally revealing she knew, she knew he was Exodus. If she knew that, what else did she know? Did she know what she had done, and what Exodus was trying to do to her? Why they were after her, what their true goal was? Did she even know what the Lance of Kresnik _was_?

With a subvocal snarl, he rolled over. It didn’t matter. They were going to fight in that silly colosseum to win the rights to use the wyverns, and if he got the timing right, when they actually got back to Rashugal, his other plans would be falling into place. They would be out of Auj Oule soon, out of Xian Du, out of a place that stank of frantic memories and a rapport of a gun too loud for any child to hear.

Sheets on one of the other beds in the room shifted and Alvin looked up, equal parts curious and paranoid. Jude may have forgiven him far too easily, but that didn’t preclude Rowen from deciding he was too much of a threat and offing him here. It was nice to have the Conductor on his side, but he knew it was a double edged sword - Rowen, at any time, could come to the conclusion that Alvin was more trouble than he was worth and leave his cooling body where it would never be found. Though, with every passing moment, the chances of it happening were less. If he hadn’t done it yet, even after blatantly betraying them constantly, he should be safe.

For a moment, he couldn’t quite make out what was going on. Alvin lifted his head slightly, almost amused once he saw clearly what was going on. Jude had climbed into Rowen’s bed, and started to shift his weight so he straddled the older man. The kid leaned in once he was situated, eyes half closed over those golden eyes as his lips parted ever so slightly, showing a hint of white teeth. Interesting. Alvin had long since suspected the kid at least was interested in trying out both genders, and the declaration that it wouldn’t have mattered to him if Mill- _Maxwell_ , damnit - was male sealed the deal for him. And he had gotten the feeling Jude liked at least older women, and could be persuaded to try out his curiosity on older guys too. But that much older? Kid still surprised him.

Jude snapped his head up at the sound of Alvin moving, his pale cheeks staining red as he whipped around to stare at him, wide eyed. Ah, still embarrassed about his preferences. Alvin watched, almost fascinated as the almost feverish blush crept across his skin in blotchy patches, almost crawling down his throat in a very fetching way. Almost made him want to grab him and trace it with tongue and teeth-

Which was when Jude threw himself off Rowen and marched out of the room, avoiding meeting Alvin’s eyes. Now he just felt like a heel. It was number one in the handbook: Thou shalt not cockblock. And with a kid like Jude just now figuring out what he liked and easily shamed into what people think he should like... this could set things back pretty far for his plans too. Though now, when he tried to figure out what those plans were, outside going home... he had nothing.

Nothing but the idea of seeing more of those golden eyes.

* * *

The night clime in Fennmont never got less beautiful, nor less creepy. It was a gilded sort of loveliness, painted gold over an infection from inside. Every place Alvin looked, he could see someone from Auj Oule or Exodus, eating the pretty mask from the inside out. And with Nachtigal now assassinated before their eyes, things would just get worse. He shouldn’t care about this, not with the Lance so close to being used. Not with the chance of going home so near that he could taste it. He shouldn’t care anymore about Auj Oule and Rashugal and the fate of Rieze Maxia...

But he just _couldn’t_. Not with those gold eyes, looking so thoughtful, so pained.

At least during the fights against Agria and Nachtigal, Jude had seemed the healthiest he had ever been. It had surprised even Milla, just how strong and fast the kid could be when he felt well. Alvin wondered if he had even gotten hit, considering how much he was abusing snap pivot. Any upcoming fights would be easy with him and Milla around, especially with how well the two of them worked when linked. If he didn’t know better, Alvin would have sworn that Jude and Milla were born for each other.

If he was sappy and sentimental that way.

“Alvin.” Milla’s voice cut through his thoughts. He turned, idly noting her exasperated and worried expression. “Have you seen Jude?”

He felt an eyebrow creep upward towards his hairline. There were some people he expected to be distracted by Fennmont, especially after what had just happened. He would have expected to hear Rowen had disappeared, trying to rebuild after his friend had been killed by an unknown assailant. Definitely not Jude, not the boy following the Lord of the Spirits around with wide eyes and fierce fists. “Nope. You check the Medical School?” The last time he had seen Jude, he had been pouring through texts at his old school, absently promising he’d be at the entrance to Arklund Quag when they were ready to make their assault on Fezebel Marsh. Milla put a hand to her mouth as she thought, her hips swaying in that way that still drew Alvin’s eyes lower. She may be Maxwell, but he was still male and she was still very, very attractive. And... he just couldn’t summon the same fire as before, not after getting to know her. “Hey, look, I’ll go check it out. Promise, that’s all I’m going to go do.” There was nothing at Talim Medical School he needed to pass along anyway. Enough active spies had infiltrated there.

Crimson eyes studied him as the hand at her mouth came to her hip, almost threateningly close to her sword. While he could take her in a straight physical fight, he knew, it wouldn’t be purely physical. The damned woman and her mana, able to cast as easily as breathing. She would set him on fire, encase him in earth, suffocate him with air, and drown him before running him through. And at the same time... the part that hurt the worst was the utter distrust in her eyes. When had he come to think so much of Milla’s trust?

... when had he come to start thinking of her as Milla instead of Maxwell?

Finally, she crossed her arms. “I’m putting my trust in you, Alvin,” she told him, the words more a threat than encouragement. Warning him that if he betrayed them one more time, that if he left not to gather Jude, she would set him on fire before gutting him. Some part of him cynically told him that maybe he should let Milla do it anyway. He pushed it down, ignoring the new sharp edges it created and turned from her, raising a hand lazily as he left.

Where he expected to find Jude was not where he had actually parked his ass. There were plenty of people milling about that needed help, exactly where one would think to find an honor’s student like Jude Mathis. But he walked past several patients groaning in pain, some in so much agony they could barely make a noise as they waited for a doctor to be free. Something like this he would expect to see in Elympios, where mana was unusable except via spyrixes. Here, where mana lobes could shift mana however they wanted, couldn’t they fix illness and injury much faster? But... a bitter laugh spilled from his lips. Mana lobes couldn’t fix everything. Jude’s big mana lobe and medical knowledge couldn’t fix Milla’s legs. Alvin closed his eyes, hand on a door knob. It would have made things so easy if Milla had stopped there. If she had gotten out of their way. Alvin felt his heart clench at the thought, at the idea of Milla confined to Driselle’s bed, unable to walk. That wouldn’t have been Milla, and Jude would have never allowed it. And he didn’t.

Alvin shook his head. Enough. They had to get to Fezebel Marsh, and these thoughts weren’t helping. A quick peek in confirmed it was a small examination room, and there was someone in it. An apology sprung smoothly to his lips before he realized most of the lights were turned off, and the one that was still on illuminated a familiar face, lashes closed over those golden eyes. Jude’s hands lay still on an open book in front of him, while several others stacked next to him. After a moment, he stirred, opening his eyes and looking up at the ceiling without seeing it. Everything the kid was doing- Alvin opened his mouth, feeling the words escape with a dry click. “Getting caught up in studies, honors student?”

The kid was acting like he had just received bad news.

Jude jumped at the sound of Alvin’s voice, obviously having been so deep in what he was reading and his thoughts that he didn’t hear him open the door. His eyes darted around, looking for the others, and only seemed to get more frantic where they didn’t catch sight of Milla or anyone else. “A-alvin,” he finally squeaked out, shutting the book he was reading but not yet standing. “What’s wrong?”

“Milla’s wondering where you are.” Alvin stepped in, not yet closing the door behind him. Something about the fact that it was him made Jude nervous, and right now that wasn’t what he wanted. “Guess she’s getting antsy about the Lance and wanting to make her move.”

Jude made a soft noise, looking away. He still didn’t stand, still not quite looking at him. Worry started to creep into Alvin’s mind as he came around the desk, tossing an arm around the boy’s shoulders. A usual gesture, repeated after countless battles and meaning nothing. But as soon as his arm touched Jude, he felt him tense and panicked hands push at him. “G-get away!”

Alvin backed up, his hands lifting peaceably. “Whoa there. Owch, that hurt the ego.” He watched as Jude didn’t even glance at him, instead wrapping his arms around himself. What had he been reading? “I’m not going to hurt you. Hell, not like this. Got no reason.” For some reason, that made the kid curl up even more, his eyes trained steadfastly in front of him. “C’mon. Milla’s probably about ready to storm the school herself.” He turned to leave, pausing when he didn’t hear Jude stand. “What’s up?”

“Alvin...” There was a long pause as he turned back around, looking at Jude. Finally, those honest and open gold eyes looked right at him, the pain and confusion clear. “I think... this is where we part ways. I’m going to stay in Fennmont.”

What.

“What?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's pretty tame right now, but oh yes. I do plan on it being explicit.


	2. Blaze

The words hung in the air as Jude finally stood, not quite looking at Alvin yet. They made the silence heavy, ringing with just how wrong they were. Alvin opened his mouth, trying to figure out exactly how to go about explaining why this was a bad idea, no, he shouldn’t stay in Fennmont as the kid straightened the stack he had been studying and started to pick it up. “Hey,” he finally said, shattering the silence with the quiet word. “What happened to all that resolve? What happened to you not leaving Milla’s side?”

One of the books fell off the top of the stack, opening to a random page as it hit the floor. Alvin picked it up, his eyes scanning the page reflexively. _’Subject shows signs of deterioration. Like the others, subject’s temperature is spiking and shows no signs of-’_ Just as he started to get to the juicy part, Jude snatched it away from him. “You-” The kid’s voice faltered on the word, and he wet his lips to try again. “You should go, Alvin.”

His hand was trembling on the cover. Alvin just noticed that. “I don’t think so.” When had he changed, he marveled as Jude looked up at him sharply. Before, he would have just shrugged and left the kid to mope for whatever it was. What had changed? “Hey, look, whatever it is can’t be that bad. We’ll get through it like we always do and you can be back to making doe eyes at your Lord of Spirits in no time.”

When did it start to hurt to say those words?

“Milla...” Jude trailed off briefly, then closed his eyes, shaking his head. “No.” He pinned Alvin with a fiery golden glare, resolve starting to pass into his eyes. “It’s for the best. Believe me, Alvin. I can’t be anywhere near you anymore.”

“Huh.” The words stung worse than anything said before. So he had finally gotten it. The kid had finally grown up and was no longer forgiving Alvin for betraying them so often. “If it was like that, you could have told me to fuck off instead. Didn’t have to stay in Fennmont and let your lady go unattended.”

“That’s not-!” Jude looked at him with wide frustrated eyes. “Please, Alvin. Go- go save the world with Milla instead of me. It’s better that it’s you instead of me, I promise.”

Alvin gave him a measured look, trying to figure it out. This really wasn’t anything like Jude at all. What was scaring him so much that he was going to stay behind instead of rush foolishly into danger like usual? Finally, he raised his hands, shrugging. “Guess there’s no helping it. Milla’s going to be disappointed, you know.”

“I know.” His voice was quiet, reflective. “I’m sorry, Alvin.”

“Yeah.” Alvin matched his tone as he turned, every part of him screaming to grab the kid and march back to Milla with him over his shoulder. “See you around.” With those words, he opened the door again and left. It was wrong. This shouldn’t be how it went. It needed to be a triumphant march with all of them, not like this. Not this unexplained loss. Boots filled his field of vision, and he followed the lovely vision up a shapely body to Milla’s unimpressed mien. “He’s not coming.”

Her burning eyes flicked past him towards the still open door he had exited, then back at him. Sometimes he wondered just how much of human behavior she understood, but he knew this was a moment that was new to her. Pain simmered in her surprised eyes, echoed in a suppressed part of him. Then, it was tamped down as she inclined her head. “Then we move on without him.”

From anyone else, it would sound cruel and unwarranted. From Milla... Alvin’s jaw jumped as he realized he saw her hiding her feelings, and he understood. He knew. He fucking was on the same wavelength as Maxwell and couldn’t think of her as anything else other than a woman in pain trying to move on, using her mission as a shield against it... and he _supported_ her for it. When did he start caring for her too?

“Yeah.” He even echoed the same tone as when he said it to Jude. “Let’s get going.”

* * *

Moments that were surreal: Fighting against Rashugal and Auj Oule soldiers at the same time while they were fighting each other. While Alvin was used to fighting one or the other while being on the other side, being on a third side was a completely different and weird experience. Good thing was they were scrubs. Nothing soldiers. Even without Jude they could take them out, no problem. Alvin swung his gun out, firing into a Rashugal soldier as his mind wandered to Jude. What in the world could the kid had read that made him think staying in Fennmont was such a good idea? It almost looked like he had been looking at research, reading up on an experiment that had gone wrong. Kid needed to get his head out of the journals and into the real world if he was ever-

Something smacked Alvin across the face, and his back hit the ground with enough force that his breath was driven from him. Damn. He had been thinking about how Jude needed to live in the real world and here he was, not paying attention to the battle in front of him. He willed his muscles to at least move, roll over so he wouldn’t be in the way of the follow up, and didn’t. Elize was chanting, but it would take too long for her to pull off a spell. Her or Leia. A short, breathy laugh puffed from his lips as Alvin tried again, his limbs still uncoordinated in the marshy land. So this was how it ended.

“Alvin!” His Lilium Orb trembled as it linked, and a small amount of strength flowed into him, enough that he was able to roll out of the way of a blow and stagger to his knees. A return swing of his sword made sure the Auj Oule Enforcer was never going to try that again, and he turned towards the voice he was certain he was hallucinating.

Jude finished the last enemy with a Demon Fist, making their linked Lilium Orbs resonate as he turned to the group, his hand raising to his hair in an embarrassed gesture. “Hey guys.” Golden eyes linked with Alvin’s for a brief moment, hesitating before Storm Leia swept in, her hands on her hips.

“What were you thinking, making us worry like that? What where you doing? You shouldn’t have said you were staying behind then followed us anyway! How did you even get all the way over here without a booster?” With each question, she advanced on him until he was nearly bent backwards, his hands up to ward off her relieved anger.

“I’m sorry, Leia,” came the murmur. “I just followed everyone else, making sure to step where they did. I realized... it was stupid of me, to just stop and be selfish like that when the world was in this kind of danger. I don’t know if I can make a difference, but I’ll never know unless I try.” Jude took a step backwards, looking at everyone, his gaze lingering on Milla. Alvin felt his grip tighten at that before that burning gaze turned to him, making his throat dry out.

Milla only nodded at that, the relief obvious only to the two watching her closely. “It’s good to have you back,” was all she said, making Leia turn her displeasure on her. The only difference was that she did not care, now that she had Jude beside her again and they were so close to finishing her mission. Her lips quirked briefly before she turned away, a small distracted smile that was echoed for that same brief moment on Jude’s face.

And for that moment, the blaze burned inside him higher than before.

* * *

The Kukhar Ice Caverns were just as cold as one would expect, though Alvin barely noticed as his arms moved, cutting down monsters with one and shooting them with the other. That wasn’t part of the plan. What Gilland did... that was nothing like what he had been told. They were supposed to just go home. It was part of their _name_ for crying out loud, Exodus. This invasion force... the blaze within him jumped as a particularly vicious swipe knocked a Snow Bat out of the air for good. He heard Elize yelp in pain as another knocked her out of her chant and, without thinking about it, he linked their Lilium Orbs together as he took revenge on it. She started her chant again, chills running down his spine as he realized which spell it was. Not a healing spell, no, one of her disquieting dark elemental ones. Ones that made him wonder what thoughts went through her head that didn’t get filtered through Teepo. As the monster lay dying from her spell, she held onto the damned flying thing and turned away from him with a huff, breaking the link.

She still couldn’t forgive him. He felt his lips quirk humorlessly, not able to blame her. The way they had met her, and what she needed... he pretty much spat on that every time he betrayed them. And she was still so young, still saw the world in more severe shades of black and white than even Jude did. She couldn’t understand what he had been trying to do, how his thoughts had changed as Maxwell turned into Milla, and now how he realized even he had been lied to. That everything he had lied about had been a lie itself. Alvin watched Elize march off, Teepo floating from her arms to slightly behind her, his heart heavy. The lie itself should be the only thing bothering him, not... not how it affected people like little Elize here, or spunky Leia, or calm Rowen...

Or the pillars, Jude and Milla. Alvin followed Elize, trying to make sure she didn’t get in over her head. Even if she didn’t trust him, he could keep her safe. It was all he had now, until they could find someone. Then, maybe, he could go after Gilland alone. They didn’t need to trust him to take vengeance on that asshole. He could do it.

Just... he need to make sure Elize was okay.

There was a scuffling noise above, and the two of them tensed. Elympios soldiers? He stepped closer to her, keeping just far enough away so Teepo had room to move and attack too. There was soft murmuring, a female voice they didn’t recognize and a young male voice. A... Elize gasped, her hands flying to her mouth as she turned to Alvin with hopeful eyes, her anger now forgotten as she came to the same conclusion. He placed a finger to his lips, reminding her to be cautious and she puffed her cheeks out at him, Teepo doing the same thing. Geez, that thing was creepy. But he crept up carefully behind the rock they heard the voices as the soldiers left the area... and draped his hand around Jude’s mouth. “You’re going to blow your cover like that,” he murmured into his ear, noting with alarm the heat coming off Jude’s skin and seeping through his glove. He hadn’t even felt this hot on the ship when he had fainted for the first time. How the hell was he even still upright? The kid turned to glare at him, half coiled for a fight before he realized who it was.

Someone slid in beside Jude, not quite malicious but something about them made Alvin snap his head up. Dangerous. The vision he got was certainly a nice one, a lovely woman with long ears, green hair, and a calm smile. Nice body too. But he couldn’t deny that something about her told him that she was not someone that he could take lightly. “Geez, Alvin,” Jude said crossly, almost ignoring the woman by his side. “You scare me! Don’t sneak up on people like that.”

“Ah, you know I meant nothing by it.” With practiced blitheness, he draped his arm over Jude’s shoulder, ignoring that tempting line of throat and keeping most his weight off the kid just in case as he looked up at the woman. “So who’s this vision of loveliness?” Who was... floating oh shit what had Jude gotten himself into?

“Oh. This is Muzét. She’s... um... Milla’s sister.”

Alvin turned to look at him, surprise stabbing through him at the words as Muzét smiled, the feeling of threat starting to dwindle from her as apparently she figured they weren’t going to attack Jude or her. “Oh ho! You’ll have to explain this one.”

* * *

Jude lasted longer than he expected.

For a kid that had been rained on, dumped into a river, sent to a frozen tundra, wandered around in unfamiliar territory with only an unknown spirit that claimed to be Milla’s sister that was there to watch out for him, direct tethering to said spirit, and fought two nasty dragons, it wasn’t until immediately after the battle that he fell to his knees, and passed out.

“Jude!” Elize ran over to him, tired lips chanting another healing spell. Muzét floated off to one side, her calm smiling mask still in place as Alvin followed after Elize, watching the spirit with a cautious eye. She hadn’t been hostile, not in the least. She had even been helpful, especially since she had directly tethered with Jude and he could call upon her in a limited capability. But there was just something about her... “A-alvin, Jude’s not...”

Quickly, he pulled off his glove, shooing her out of the way. “Move.” Alvin pressed his bare hand to Jude’s forehead, hissing. Kid was burning up! “Damn. He’s sick again. We’re going to have to stop here, rest. Elize, stay with him, see if you can do something. I’m going to get some water.”

“And what would you like me to do?” Muzét tilted her head, her smile widening slightly. Alvin hesitated, looking at her. It was probably a bad idea. He was already burning up, so adding more heat would probably not be a good idea. But given they were literally in an ice cavern, it was probably doing more harm than good that he was in a cold environment. Maybe. Damn it, why was it that the medical student was sick?

“We need a fire,” he told her. “A small one.”

She closed her eyes as her hand moved, casting a small Efreet arte leaping from her as lips continued to curl in her smile. It leapt into a blaze near Jude and Elize, kept there without any twigs or other fuel. “Anything else?”

“Okay...” Alvin rubbed the back of his neck. “Just... also make sure no monsters are coming near. I’ll be right back.”

What else could they do? They had to get Jude out of the caverns, but it wasn’t that easy. He didn’t exactly trust Muzét to protect them without Jude. Elize was powerful, but she still relied on artes and she was still fragile. They needed to stay there until Jude’s fever broke. Alvin dunked the waterskin as he thought, frowning. If they could rouse him a bit they could get him to drink some water, that might help get his fever down, then a washcloth on his forehead... maybe? Might help. When he came back, Elize’s trembling hands lowered as another exhausted Pixie Circle was cast. Damn. And they didn’t know when they would find another shop and be able to buy more Orange Gels. Alvin covered one of her hands, smiling down at her. “Hey, why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll watch over him.”

“I’m okay,” she insisted. “I’m-” And here she yawned, swaying slightly. Teepo floated around her, then up in Alvin’s face, frowning at him.

“You better not be thinking about betraying us again.” For a doll, it sure could be threatening. Then again, Alvin had seen how Elize used him in combat, so he just imagined Teepo draining him dry before she opened a Negative Gate under his feet. Not a pleasant experience.

“Whoa.” Alvin glibly raised his hands, deflecting the hostility with one of his smiles. “No betraying happening here.” He let his own mask drop slightly, allowing Elize to see the simmering anger towards his uncle for a brief moment. “Just get some rest. Muzét-” here, he looked over at the spirit blithely keeping watch- “should make sure everything’s okay.”

Elize looked at him, eyes too old for the young girl she was, then turned in an overblown huff. It wasn’t easy, but she found a spot that was slightly warmer than the rest, and they had a blanket in their packs. With Muzét’s fire, she would be kept warm. And speaking of things burning up... Alvin turned back to Jude, his eyes narrowing. Time to see if he could even rouse the kid. Carefully, he cradled him in his arms, shaking him slightly. “Hey. Hey kid. Hey, time to wake up. Got something for you.” Jude only groaned and shifted in his arms, which was more than he had done earlier. Elize’s efforts had done some good. Now to see if the non-mana lobe person could help it along. He kept at it until Jude’s eyes cracked open, glassy gold looking up at him blearily. “About time. You’ve got to get some water ooookay...” Alvin trailed off as Jude wrapped his arms around his waist, burying his nose into his chest. What the hell? He shot a nervous glance at Elize and Muzét, but the former was fast asleep and the latter didn’t seem engaged in what was happening. Alvin pushed his hair back from his face as he thought, letting the sick Jude snuggle into him. This was awkward.

Which only got more so when Jude leaned up, burning breath against his throat. “Hey. Any other time I’d be more than willing but you’re pretty sick right now,” Alvin started as the breath was followed by blazing lips and tongue, his own voice stuttering and strangling at the feeling. Fuck. He had thought about this countless times before. Once, how he’d drive Jude out of his mind with pleasure so he’d turn him from Milla’s side. Then just wondering how he’d look writhing, cock in his mouth or on his hands and knees, Alvin driving into him... but not like this. Not with this kind of audience and the kid so sick he probably literally did not know what he was doing. The tongue traced a line across the pulse in his neck and he shuddered, suddenly holding onto Jude as the sensation raced through him. “And that’s enough for- ow!”

The kid bit him! He could feel a shiver racing through Jude as he reached up, pushing him off. “The hell is your problem, kid?!”

Jude looked up at him, golden eyes far more focused than before, his mouth stained red with beads of blood before he glanced away. A pink tongue flicked out, absently wetting his lips while cleaning away the blood that rested there and something was very, very wrong. Alvin slapped a hand to his neck, only to pull it away and look down at the red staining the fingers. “I’ll heal it,” came the muted voice, quiet. “And I’ll explain. Just... don’t tell anyone. Please, Alvin.”

All he could do was look down at the kid with shock, lowering his hand as Jude silently healed the small bite on his neck, hissing as warm fingers brushed the wound. “What kind of explanation do you even have, kid?”

For a moment, he hesitated, then curled his fingers as he withdrew his hand, still sitting on top of Alvin. “I should have stayed in Fennmont,” Jude started, both his hands on his lap. “The night clime, it... it wasn’t making the burn worse. I didn’t-” He stopped, inhaling. “I didn’t know until we left Fennmont that something was wrong. Sun and exertion make it worse. It’s like... burning up from within. If I’m awake at night or if I... I...” He stumbled over the words, not quite having made the peace with it.

“You what? What were you doing, drinking my blood?”

Jude winced at the harsh words, then nodded. “It makes the burn go away, at least for a little bit.”

All those times he woke feeling ill with a sore neck, or Elize’s paler than normal face, or that one time he caught Jude on top of Rowen flashed through his mind, and Alvin stood suddenly, making Jude tumble suddenly to the ground. “So is that all we are to you?” he ground out. “An all you-can-eat buffet line?”

“Alvin!” Jude looked up at him, embarrassed color high on his cheeks. “It wasn’t always like this, you know! I didn’t know what was going on! And if I could stop it I would have.” He pulled in on himself, gold eyes unfocused slightly. “It was an experiment,” came his distant voice. “I didn’t even know that’s what that was. They were experimenting on us, seeing if they could enhance our abilities. Most of us have already burned up from within even with Fennmont’s night clime. And the sad thing?” A soft laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head. “It didn’t even _work._ ”

Jude entire body language screamed miserable. He wasn’t the only one, but one that managed to live, somehow. How many others were there that were still alive? Not only that, but how many of those others were actually in a state that they could think like Jude was right now? “So what made you special?”

“I don’t know.” His voice was small as he curled up more. “I think... I had found the file that had my records when you came to get me. They were trying something different, but it failed in what they wanted to do even more than everything else. I’m just a normal kid otherwise. I didn’t even know that’s what Professor Haus’s colleagues were doing when...” He took a deep breath, his fists clenching. “I understand if you want to leave now. I’ll... go with Muzét.”

Take Elize with him, keep her safe from him. The implication broke through, and Alvin looked down at him, his lips pressed tightly together. A small memory niggled at him, reminding him that when he had felt that slight cruddy feeling, Jude had looked about ready to pass out again the day before. When he had caught him on Rowen, Jude had been the palest he had ever been. The kid was pushing himself to his literal limit, and if all they felt was a little run down, he was probably taking just enough to make it another day. “Does Milla know?” he finally asked, pushing the words out.

“No.” Jude shook his head. “You’re... I was kind of hoping to find a cure. That I didn’t have to tell anyone.”

Alvin pushed his hair back from his forehead, closing one eye as he looked down at the kid. Kind of put things into perspective when he thought of it like that. Jude looking everywhere they went for why he was burning up, feeling sick... and why the taste of blood was the only thing that helped it. The kid looking everywhere when they had free time for a cure. Even being willing to stay behind and away from Milla fucking Maxwell. He didn’t think anything would have done that. Pretty much, yeah, he had it right the first time. The kid was sick, and it wasn’t getting any better. Finally, he sat down next to him, leaning back slightly. “Well, get some rest. We aren’t getting anything done by whining about this.”

“Alvin?” Ever so slightly, Jude uncurled, looking at him blankly. Alvin grinned at him, and deliberately tossed an arm around his shoulder. “Hey!”

“Don’t frown like that; makes you look older than me. And get some rest. We have a lot to do tomorrow.” He winked, and realization filled Jude’s eyes. A small smile crossed his lips, and he nodded, moving to lie down and get some rest. It was probably for the best, for the kid to be unconscious for a while. Alvin knew he wasn’t going to be getting any rest for a while, not while he could press two fingers against a healed throat and feel the slight pain where Jude bit into it. Was it really worth it, to just let this slide? Jude had forgiven so much of his own betrayals, rolled with it, pretending they were just in the past. And the kid was certainly sick, in need of a cure for this. But maybe the best cure was-

No. Alvin looked up at the caverns ceiling, sighing. He couldn’t think that way. It was sad... but this was all he had right now. He couldn’t fuck it up.

"Shouldn't you get some rest too?" Muzèt's sweet voice cut through his thoughts, making him jump as he turned to her.

"Nah. I'm good." He lifted two fingers in a salute, and she merely smiled at him, causing a chill that had nothing to do with the ice around them.

"If you say so," came her calm response, leaving him to stare at her unnatural blaze, thoughts jumping around his head as much as the flames.

* * *

“Is he dead now?”

Elize’s voice swept past him as Alvin knelt by Gilland’s body, his fingers still chilled from Celsius’s blasts. Rowen’s response meant nothing. They had won against him. They had killed him, stopped his plan. Precious Rieze Maxia would be safe, and Elympios would inch ever closer to destruction. Something he said, though, something about the spyrites... What were they, exactly? Without paying attention to Milla, he took the gun, murmuring to himself, “Well, I’ll be taking this back.” Then, the child within him stirring, he reached out and closed Gilland’s eyes. “Gilandor Yul Svent. Goodbye, Uncle.”

_You asshole._

Gaius and the Chimeriad... It almost didn’t matter anymore. They were going to destroy the Lance of Kresnik, keep the schism in place, and he’d never go home. What was Elympios even like now? Was it even more barren than his childhood memories? Woodenly, he watched Milla step over to the console, and- his breath caught as the four elements leapt around her, resolving into the form of Efreet, Undine, Sylph, and Gnome. A feral beauty suffused her features as she greeted them, stepping closer and moving her hand command the Four to destroy the Lance. He couldn’t stop her if he wanted to, if he thought it would bring prosperity to his world and allow him to go back home. Anticipation leapt burned in blazes in his veins as his mouth opened slightly. This was it-

And then the ESS Zenethra shook, making all of them look around. Some unknown force slammed his nose to the ground, and he could barely hear the others cry out around him. _Damn you, Gilland,_ he thought, gritting his teeth as he tried to raise his head at Gaius’s attempt to stand. Whatever arte this was... damn it. It was going to flatten them.

“Use the Lance of Kresnik!” Jude’s voice, distant through the arte, reached him. “It has the power to dispel artes.”

Alvin turned his head slightly to glare at him. Crazy bloodsucking kid, what was he- he was right. But how? He could hear someone say to pour mana into the Lance, someone else criticize it for giving that thing power... if he could just stand right now he could pay more attention!

Suddenly Milla’s voice, clear as day.

“There’s no need for everyone to risk their lives.”

What.

Alvin’s head snapped up, eyes wide. “No, don’t do this!” he could hear Jude screaming, the pain raw in his voice, and there was nothing he could do. He pushed himself up slightly, and fell right back down. If he could even get up, he would stop her right now. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen! This wasn’t the way this was supposed to end! He could feel Jude get up, then fall right back down. He was probably burning up after that fight, and still struggling to fight more. To save her.

“With the schism gone, Exodus’s plan will come to an end.” She turned slightly, looking at Alvin. Not even now could he call Milla Maxwell cold. Her entire being screamed for him to tell her she was right. She just wanted this to be over, for there to be peace. For him to be happy too.

_Damn you too, Maxwell._

He could feel his hand reach out, grabbing Jude’s arm. Even through the glove and cloth, he could feel the kid burning up. “Don’t,” he told him as he felt the last bit of strength break under his fingers.

“It’ll be okay,” came Milla’s voice, so full of bravado it couldn’t ring more false if she wanted it to. Alvin looked up, seeing her unconsciously hold her stomach protectively. She had always positioned her limbs in powerful ways. Seeing an anxious, unsure gesture from her... crimson eyes held steady on golden as she smiled, being the most human she had ever been. “Farewell, Jude.”

With those words, she turned back towards the Lance, and activated it, pouring her and the Four’s mana into it. For a moment, vision was obscured by white light, and then... stillness. Alvin coughed as dust stirred, and he felt Jude pull his arm free from his grasp. But they both could move, which meant it worked. But-

Milla.

She was still standing there, just as she had when she activated the Lance. In that moment, Alvin thought she was going to turn around. That she was going to have that grin on her face when things go her way, and they were going to return triumphant. It was how it was supposed to happen. And with the holes in the schism, and Milla now aware of it, couldn’t that mean he could go home at some point? And they could figure out how to save Elympios?

But then she fell, her strings cut as her still body crumpled onto the ruined floor of the ESS Zenethra.


	3. Ash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready for end game spoilers? Next chapter has the smut I promise.

It was getting dark. It would have been nice to light a candle, but... Alvin’s hand twitched slightly towards the matches, then stopped, resting on his gun. He couldn’t. Not with Muzét around, not... He sighed, his head thunking against the wall. His mouth felt full of ash as he remembered how Milla fell, landed lifelessly... how Muzét had showed her true colors...

He couldn’t light a candle now. Not like this. Not if she, that spirit bitch...

Alvin ran a hand over his face, breathing raggedly. How had he not seen it coming? He knew something was off about her. Something... And he had no idea what happened after. What happened to Jude. If he was even alive- “Fuck,” he whispered, his hand shaking over his eyes. Why was he even thinking like this? Jude was just... not here. And Milla wasn’t.

Milla wasn’t here.

He should feel something about that. Sadness. Happiness. Just, something. Something other than this hollow, gutted out feeling. He was never going home. And with Muzét how she was, the people of his home, they- they were going to be killed even faster than the lack of mana would. He failed. They all failed.

Fuck it, he should just light the damn candle. Let Muzét know exactly where he was, advertise where she could kill another person that knew about the schism. It wouldn’t make a difference now. He let the hand loosely holding his gun reach out, blindly searching for the wax in the growing darkness. His other hand dropped from his face, reaching for the matches. What was he going to do once he lit the candle, anyway? His food supply was growing short, and he didn’t feel like eating. It was more for comfort anyway, to drive the darkness back. Cold comfort, he thought, and nearly laughed as one hand found the candle.

As soon as his finger curled around the wax, the wick blazed to life. Training kept his grip on the candle as he reached for his sword with his other hand, swinging the light around to find her. He knew who would have done that. How had she found him? His arm stopped as Muzét’s form was revealed, her lips still curved in her smile. Her mask. Alvin’s hand palmed his sword as he looked at her, waiting to see who would make the first move. Slowly, he put the candle in its holder, not yet going for his gun. When he did, he knew he was going to die. Funny, how he thought just a second ago he was ready for it.

“You can put that down.” Her sweet voice came as a surprise, memory of her rampage still fresh in his mind. “You look like death.”

The light giggle at the end of her words only hit a weary side of him. “Been too busy to get enough sleep,” he told her, still holding on his sword, fingers inching towards his gun. Damn it. Muzét was too close for him to get the drop on her, and as tired as he was... Alvin leaned his head back, feigning a casual posture.

Muzét smile deepened, her hands spreading. Alvin’s grip tightened on his sword before he noticed there was no hint of mana gathering around her fingers. “You shouldn’t look so upset. I come with a bargain.”

The words were so unexpected he couldn’t help but laugh. “A bargain. Right. I don’t know who told you but they don’t work like that when you can just get rid of us like-”

“I can give you want you’ve always wanted.”

In the sudden silence, her words dropped like a stone into water, rippling across his skin. What he wanted. For a price, for a _bargain._ He licked his lips, his mouth suddenly ash dry as he connected the events. “You can’t find them, can you. So you’re using me. Pretending you can-”

”But I can.” Her head tilted as her eyes closed, and he found himself praying to a Lord of Spirits he had cursed all his life that she wouldn’t say it. That she couldn’t do the impossible. Then, four syllables tumbled from her lips.”

”Elympios.”

* * *

The closer he got to Hamil, the more Alvin started to realize that maybe it was less a question of if Muzét could track any of them down, and more she thought she could kill two sylphjays with one stone. Jude and Leia weren’t poor fighters, and the two of them could easily beat him. His hand tightened on his sword as his teeth grit. But he wouldn’t just allow himself to be beaten. He would go home, or die trying. And if he had to die trying, he was going to take them with him. It wasn’t worth it to just be _beaten_ , not with this on the line. With his other hand, he rubbed his gritty eyes, wondering for a time number he had long forgotten what Elympios was like now. How bad it had gotten. How his remaining family - he snorted, not wanting to fool himself - how Balan was doing. And if he did this, he could know. All it would take was one last betrayal, and the blood of a boy he had come to trust on his hands.

It was a price he was willing to pay. Alvin squared his shoulders as he came closer to the shed that Elize had been kept in, ducking behind a tree as Leia opened the door. As it was, she didn’t see him, caught up in something in her head as she left. It was just... sad, how he knew exactly where they would be in Hamil. No, they wouldn’t be anywhere else, not in any of the empty houses. Of course they would be in Elize’s old home. If he wasn’t sure that Muzét wanted them to take each other out, he was damn sure of it now. But little did she know he had done this before, separate two that could take him on together, and kill them apart. He could do it again. Without thinking about it, he slipped into the shed and stopped, not sure how to take the sight in front of him.

He had expected this to go a thousand different ways. Jude being relieved to see him, Jude wanting him to rejoin his efforts, Jude wary, Jude attacking him immediately... never Jude sitting there listlessly. Never Jude looking up at him with dull golden eyes, so lost, so empty as Alvin leveled his gun at him. He turned his gaze back down, pulling his knees up. “Go ahead,” he told Alvin. “Do whatever you want.”

The words clang hollow inside him, suddenly furious as he found himself striding forward, gripping the boy by the shirt and lifting him with no resistance. The gun pressed against his forehead as Jude just... let him, giving up. “You always try to go with the flow,” Alvin ground out, trying to keep his voice steady. How could the boy just give up like this? He was their last pillar, the one keeping them up after Milla- “You really piss me off, you know!” Alvin’s finger moved from the trigger guard slowly, touching the trigger. He could do it, easily like this. Jude wasn’t even fighting back. Ash stung his eyes, making him narrow them before they started to water, before that could be mistaken for crying. He shouldn’t want to throw his gun away and bring the life back to the kid’s eyes...

And then his arm was jostled, the gun going off as his finger jerked on trigger suddenly with Leia’s tackle. She pushed him away as he barely started to register that he had underestimated her, gravely, dropping his gun as she used more strength than he realized she had to knock him into the table. Before he could scoop it up and reload it, she had grabbed Jude and fled. With shaking fingers, he loaded fresh bullets and held the gun in front of him. “What am I doing?” he whispered.

It wasn’t too hard to find Jude and Leia again. Jude was barely walking, making their progress to the trees of the orchard. He hadn’t felt hot when Alvin picked him up - had he been staying in the dark, or did he tell Leia? - but that didn’t mean he wasn’t starting to burn up. That he wouldn’t be doing him a favor by finally killing him and ending this cycle of burning from within. Leia turned to say something, gasping when she saw him climbing the ladder. She pushed Jude behind her and pulled out her staff, just as he made his way up and jumped at her, sword out. He could hear Jude muttering to himself about something, not paying attention, focused on what Muzét had tasked him.

”That’s not true!” It surprised him just how Leia could hold her own against him. Even while shouting at Jude, shouting at him to get up, that everyone was still here, she could block his blows and evade him. But he still advanced, the taste of ash an ever present coating of his tongue.

”Saved our lives?” Alvin laughed, shortly. “What a joke. She’s not here now.” Finally, he managed to break Leia’s guard, pointing his gun at Jude’s slack face. The words hit just the same for him, and Alvin found himself just as unable to pull the trigger again. He couldn’t- not like this. “Fight back, damn it!” Instead, he shot down, at Leia. Some part of him felt thankful she saw his arm moving and rolled out of the way so the shot passed next to her, through the bridge. That part screamed as the planks gave way under the kids, watching them crash to the ground. “You and her were the ones keeping us going. She’s gone, damn it. The rest of us are just normal humans. We can’t live like her- you’re supposed to keep us going in her stead!”

The climb down gave him time to think. What was he doing? He couldn't- couldn't take away the only thing keeping him up. He couldn't live with that blood on his hands. Maybe, if he... Alvin planted his feet on the ground, aiming the gun at Leia's back. She would have to be the only one to die. He could tell Muzét that both were dead and take Jude with him back to Elympios. That blood, he could-

No. Alvin watched in disbelief as his aim wavered noticeably as he sighted down at Leia. He couldn't even have her blood on his hands. The resolve he had when he had first found them, where had it gone? He had been ready to kill them both, to take back what- no. No, he never had. The gun lowered a touch as it hit him. It had been false resolve even from the beginning, the biggest lie he had ever told. He couldn’t.

The rapport echoed in the orchard, and Leia slowly slumped over, red staining white. The taste of gunpowder mixed with ash as Alvin met Jude’s wide gold eyes, his hand shaking even more now that the gun had accidentally fired in his hand. “I... I didn’t mean to.” He took a staggering step towards the two, wondering what would happen next. This betrayal, it had to be his last. Even Jude wouldn’t forgive this.

”Alvin!” With that cry of anger, he finally stood, rushing at him. Alvin felt a spark of warmth in his chest at that, his lips twisting in similar anger as he went to meet him.

”Jude, this is all your fault!” The words fell from his mouth, dead in their fury as he swept his sword out, trying to catch him in midstep. With nimble feet, the kid backstepped, then disappeared, strong fists catching him in the back as he snap pivoted behind him. Alvin cursed and stumbled away, gun arm snapping out and shooting at him. He had forgotten about that little skill. After a few shots, he fired off an Arc Fire, feeling his Lilium Orb tremble, aching to link.

The fight was more one-sided than he realized, and in Jude’s favor. For each hit Alvin managed, Jude snap pivoted out of three more and hit him in the back, following most of them up with the roar of a Beast. For each Guardian Field he tried to blunt the pain of the blows and keep going, Jude knocked him around harder. And through it all, through each Demon Fist, Aqua Sweep, through each Arc Fire, Punishing Shot, Alvin could feel his Lilium Orb screaming to link, to finish the arte. Finally, his back hit the ground, and before he could regain his wits and stand back up, Jude was straddling him, punching him over and over.

And he just... took it. The fight was over. That was enough. He couldn’t get up, couldn’t pretend anymore. Each blow hit weaker, and weaker... until the last was a mere formality. Alvin looked up at him, realizing with a start that the boy was flushed. Probably burning up, the idiot. Whatever good he had done by staying inside had been thrown away by running into sunlight and then fighting him. “Do it,” Alvin told him listlessly. “You’re burning, aren’t you? Just do it, and kill me already.”

“Kill you?” Jude’s voice shook as he refused to look at him. “How can you ask me that? Milla saved your rotten life. And you’re just going to throw that away?” He reached out, grabbing the lapels of Alvin’s coat. “Don’t you get it? Milla didn’t die so you could throw your life away. She died because she wanted us to live!” His hands trembled on Alvin’s coat, at the end of his strength. “She didn’t die so we would fight each other.”

“I’m not Milla. I can’t live like her.” Alvin closed his eyes, not wanting to see those blazing eyes when he felt so empty inside. “I would just being using you.”

He felt himself being hauled up, and reflexively opened his eyes. Jude was leaning in, and with a resigned sigh, Alvin tilted his head. He could deny it all he wanted, but he remembered the kid biting him in his delirium. And the fight had been a brutal one. It was just a matter of course, and-

Lips touched his. The kiss was amateur, maybe one of his first ones, but it was still Jude taking the initiative and kissing him. It tasted like forgiveness, salvation. Alvin inhaled sharply as he dug a hand into Jude’s dark hair, taking control of the kiss, his other hand coming up to press into the small of his back. Why he was kissing him... it didn’t matter right now. Not when Jude was making little noises in the back of his throat as his hips shifted slightly against Alvin’s leg and _fuck_ , he could feel the kid getting aroused. He could just press the kid against the dirt, right now. Strip him of his pants and take him in his mouth. Bring him so close to the edge, then take him over with his fingers in his ass. Take advantage of how young he was, of the reduced time needed between climaxes and bring him to another one while inside him. Alvin’s fingers had started to dip under the cloth of Jude’s pants when his eyes focused past him.

Leia.

Slowly, Alvin ended the kiss. He felt Jude’s forehead rest on his neck, but he found he didn’t tense. It didn’t bother him. If he bit him... it would be justice for what he just did. Taking advantage of him while Leia, while someone he had come to care about somehow was bleeding out. Teeth touched his throat, then the kid sighed. "No, you wouldn't," he heard Jude say softly. "You just... need to take responsibility for your actions. Milla isn't here to lead us and I... I'm not the leader you think I am. I'm just as lost as you are. But I need to take the gift Milla gave us. _We_ need to take that gift." He pulled back, pinning Alvin with a fierce golden glare. "No one will make excuses for us anymore. Even if Milla's mission was a lie, it doesn't change anything, Alvin. She was still willing to put her life on the line to fulfill it. It’s not a matter if you can or can’t, it’s if you do or don’t."

"When did you get so strong?" A bitter laugh punctuated that as Alvin pushed him away, standing on unsteady legs. “Jude, you...”

”Let’s go, Alvin.” Jude smiled at him, his face softening as he reached out. “Let’s do this, together.”

Together. It sounded- yes, it sounded too good to be true. He couldn’t do it. It wouldn’t last. Jude would wake up and realize what he had done. And then Alvin would be out, dead if he was lucky. He ignored the hand, staggering away. Muzét would know he failed in his side of the bargain soon enough anyway. His hours were numbered. He stumbled through Hamil, his head hanging low. What had he done? How had he even thought it was a good idea? He should have just let that bitch kill him right there, not let her tempt him with the thought he could make it back to Elympios.

_”You just... need to take responsibility for your actions._ ”

”But where do I start?

Alvin whispered, looking up at the sky.

* * *

Here he was again. All roads seemed to lead back to Gaius and Jill (Presa, a dark part of his mind corrected him). It really was the only place a traitor like him could feel at home, among other outcasts that he knew were looking for a place to stick the knife as well. But at the same time, it didn’t fit right anymore. The role didn’t hang as comfortably around him as before. _Damn,_ he thought, holding back a click of the tongue. _Milla and the kid really did change me._

”This must be the summit.”

The voice cut through Alvin, not completely unexpected. That was the reason Agria, Presa, and he were there, wasn’t it? To keep the kid on this side of reality. He turned his head slightly, and shock rocked him as he met Leia’s eyes. She had- she was okay. Bitter ash filled his mouth as an apology died in his throat, disbelief escaping instead. “What are you doing here?”

It was with all his strength he didn’t meet Jude’s gaze. He knew, if he did, he wouldn’t let go. So he looked past him as Jude asked “We could ask you the same question.”

_Of course you could. You didn’t expect me to repeat a betrayal, did you?_

”And I see you’re not alone.” Rowen, always so calm, even while plotting how to efficiently take out an old comrade. Alvin tilted his head away, not wanting to listen as Presa and Agria taunted them. Then, when Agria hit on when Alvin shot Leia, and the hurt that crossed the girl’s face-

”Knock it off, Agria.” It was enough. He had done enough to them. When it came to a fight, he was going to sit this one out. Let them duke it out and figure out where to go from there. Alvin felt his hand ball into a fist, then looked up, finally meeting Jude’s eyes.

How could someone so young have such a burning gaze? At that age, he already felt dead inside as he watched his mother slip away, along with his hopes of going home. The hair on his arms suddenly stood on end as Agria started to cast, and horror spurred his feet to position himself between them and Jude. The dark part of him laughed, realizing it was one last betrayal. Taking Jill’s trust and spitting it back in her face. But when Agria’s arte hit him instead of Jude, instead of Leia, pushing him back, he was... okay with it. Alvin had spent so many years twisting his way around events so he didn’t get hurt, so everyone was caught in the maelstrom but him. It was his turn to take responsibility and be in the middle of it now.

So that’s what Jude meant.

Fighting alongside Jude again... their Lilium Orbs linked quickly, as if he had never been away. They focused on Agria, as if he knew that he didn’t want to see Leia and Elize hammering on Presa quite yet. Everything fell together as easily as it ever had, feeling Elize constantly healing their wounds as they landed blows on the insane girl, evading her own artes when she was ready to unleash her powerful Mystic Arte. In return, they unloaded their own artes in her face, managing to land their own powerful attacks a few times. Finally, she fell, leaving only a weakened Presa. Jude swiftly adjusted his target to the older woman, joining Leia in bringing her down as Alvin found himself hesitant, his Lilium Orb tugging at him to follow. But... he had made his choice. Without a word, his gun came up, firing quickly at a woman he could have once said he loved, finishing just as the kid came in, fists and feet landing solidly on her torso and ending with a Rising Falcon. Alvin added his own Punishing Shot to it, and their Lilium Orbs did the rest to put her down on the ground for good with a Diving Falcon.

Didn’t make it hurt any less as the two looked up at them, at the end of their strength. “Al...” Presa managed to get out, looking up at him. He never knew what she meant by that, Alvin or Alfred. Maybe both. “I’m glad we could be together again, even if it was only for a little while.”

”Presa...” No excuse came to his lips. There wasn’t any, not anymore. She smiled at him, realizing it.

”You found your place, didn’t you.” She looked over at Jude, and damn. That knowing look. She had that same one right before they had slept together for the first time. “I’m happy for you.” And no sarcasm tinted her words. At one time, she had loved him too. Maybe they still did love each other, he realized, in some way. She closed her eyes just as the fragile ground beneath them finally shook, giving way after their battle. Alvin rushed in, her name, one of her names on his lips as the ground fell away under her, too late to grab her hand and keep her from tumbling down.

He watched in shock as she disappeared under the fog, mouth dry as his mind adding her to the list of people he loved that he lost.

* * *

Trigleph, with just a few more hints of decay, had pretty much remained as he remembered it as a kid. It hadn’t registered at first that he was back in Elympios, the disbelief that they had won against Maxwell and the shock that Milla had returned overwhelming everything else. It was almost a dream. He was home, Milla was alive again... Alvin rested his head against the wall, his thoughts still floating in his head. He didn’t know what he would feel when Milla came back. It wasn’t exactly forgiveness for everything he had done, but seeing her back and not holding any grudges made him feel better for choosing the path he did. And then seeing Jude sheer relief and joy at her return- it would make a lesser man jealous, if there was one out there.

And now it was almost time for the final confrontation. Damn kid was willing to follow Milla anywhere, even alone now. He was willing to send people home to safety to stop Gaius and Muzét at any cost. Kid was right, they wouldn’t be able to convince Gaius they could save Elympios with spyrite technology. He spoke with force and listened to force. It wasn’t hard for Alvin to make his decision - he’d follow Jude and Milla into the depths of Hell. They might need a guide, after all. But if he was serious, he knew why he would follow them. He knew, why it bothered him that Milla’s little smile made Jude look away from her with a little blush. Why he wanted so desperately for Milla not to look at him with that inscrutable look. With sudden restless energy, he stood and started down the hall. He had to get some fresh air.

The air outside wasn’t much better outside, but at least there weren’t walls. Alvin tucked his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched slightly. He couldn’t run away from those thoughts forever, he knew. But until this was over and he didn’t have to see them anymore, he could ignore them. And then move on. He could take on some work here, spend a little time close to the family he actually still liked. Alvin looked up at the night sky and sighed, feeling the bitter ashiness coat his mouth.

”What was it that you wanted to say?” Milla’s voice cut through his thoughts. Alvin looked around wildly, almost thinking she was actually talking to him before seeing her standing before a park bench, and Jude’s lithe form resting on it. It looked like... no, he didn’t need to hear this. It wouldn’t matter anyway. He turned away just as he heard Jude shift, then say words he didn’t expect.

”I want to tell you... why I almost left you at Fennmont.

Alvin froze, his foot about ready to step off the ground. The last time he had heard this explanation, it had been broken, confused, a boy trying to hold himself while trying to convey something he didn’t quite understand himself. His hand touched his neck, remembering how the kid’s fever had gone away immediately right when he took some of his blood. He stood there for a moment, head tilted slightly towards them, asking himself if he really wanted to know.

He heard Jude sigh and shift, rubbing something. His knee? “It starts when I was Professor Haus’s assistant. A colleague of his came by and asked if I would be available for an experiment. I agreed to it, not exactly knowing what the risks were. The experiments were... I honestly don’t remember them. I passed out pretty quickly, but they didn’t do anything from what I could tell. And his colleague seemed disappointed as well. And then you... appeared, and I found myself fighting more than I ever had. I started feeling hotter than ever before, but I just thought it was because of all the activity. Then when we jumped onto the boat, when we entered the sun for the first time since I started the experiments, I started- I felt like I was burning up from inside.” Alvin looked over his shoulder, seeing Milla shift her hips as she crossed her arms. “It happened every time I was in the sun or every time I fought too hard. I kept drinking cold water, hoping it’d help. Then, one night, I just...”

”Jude.” Milla stepped closer, putting her hand on his shoulder. He covered her hand with his, smiling at her slightly.

”Thank you.” He took a deep breath, and continued. “I found myself on top of Alvin, mouth full of his blood. And I felt better than ever. I really didn’t know what was happening, just that it helped. So, I thought that was it, and moved on. But the sun kept making me feel hot again, worse, and-” Jude broke off, collecting his thoughts. “I didn’t understand it at all, but when we were going back to Fennmont, I thought... I could figure out what was going on. Find the logs, just... know. And I found them.”

”What did you find, Jude?”

He looked away from Milla. “They were trying to find a way to make the physically perfect soldier. And it never worked. What happened to me, I was still the same as before, just... burning. I wasn’t the only one, both as an experiment and... someone burning. I don’t know how many of them were still alive, but a lot of them are dead. Most of them, I think. I was going to stay at Fennmont, try to find a cure. I... I thought if I didn’t, at some point the blood wasn’t going to help anymore. That I was going keep burning and-” He broke off as Milla’s arms wrapped around him, his shoulders shifting in surprise. “Milla?”

”I knew. I was waiting for you to tell me.” Milla pressed her cheek against his hair. “Thank you, Jude.”

Alvin turned away, having heard all he needed to. What he just heard, saw- he needed to think about that now. It had been implied before that Jude thought he was going to die, and not actually said aloud. Without really looking, he sat down onto a swing, his arms resting on his thighs. Jude was literally killing himself to do this, just keeping himself together by what time he could spend in the dark and the little blood he’d sip from their veins. And Alvin was... what? What was he was doing? Was his resolve that strong?

”What are you doing, Alvin?”

He lifted his head at Elize’s voice, feeling his lips curl in a soft smile. She had certainly grown up since they first met her, her self confidence holding her up higher than ever before. “Thinking. I figured I do it out here, since everyone’s so sick of me.”

”Maybe because you’re a big fat liar.”

There really wasn’t anything he couldn’t anything he could say to Teepo about that. “What about you, Elize? Wondering what to do?”

The girl lowered her head, making her way over to the other swing. “I just don’t know what’s the right choice.” She swung her legs for a moment, holding onto Teepo as she fell back into her thoughts.

”Well, I’m the wrong guy to talk about that. Didn’t have much of a childhood.”

Elize turned towards him slightly, her mouth parting slightly in surprise. “So you were a member of Exodus ever since you were a little boy?”

”Yeah.” He looked over at her, his lips quirking slightly. “I thought it’d be okay. Trick people, and when things got bad, disappear. Just take the path of least resistance. I pretty much did whatever didn’t hurt me, that’s all.”

”So, you won’t be going with Jude and Milla?” Her voice was so innocent. Alvin couldn’t help but laugh slightly, leaning back.

”I’d be their tour guide into Hell if they’d let me. The kid really made me wake up and smell reality, you know?” He turned his gaze down to his hands, watching the fine tremor pass through his fingers. “He’s really mature, you know? How he keeps going despite everything and hides it all.”

He could hear Elize shifting on her seat, moving closer to him. “Alvin, are you lonely?”

The question was so unexpected, and yet so appropriate that he barked out a quick bit of laughter. “It doesn’t matter, Elize. Even if everyone hates me, I’m not leaving. This time, I’m going to take responsibility for what I’m doing. I’m going to stick it out to the end.”

”So... you want to be their friend again?”

Friend... could that be enough? He had never really be friends with Milla, not really. Nor Rowen. Leia, he- Alvin clenched his hands, trying not to show how that memory hit him. “Building real trust takes a lot more work than I thought, Elize. It’ll be okay. It’s hard, harder than anything else I’ve done, but it beats not knowing if the people you’re working with are looking for a place to stick a knife while you’re looking for a place to stick yours.”

Elize fell silent for a moment, swinging. “I still don’t know what to do. What will make me happy.”

It reminded him that she was just a girl, for all that she had gone through. A confused girl, still figuring out everything. Probably starting to go through her own changes, and unable to understand those as well, why his answer didn’t fit her. “Well, it’s different for everyone. Don’t try to make what works for someone else work for you.” His voice gentled, reaching out to her. “What have you learned?”

”I...” Elize looked down at Teepo, as if that damned thing would speak her thoughts for her yet again, then back up, conviction written in her face. “I’ve learned a lot by traveling with everyone. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve learned more this way. And I don’t want to stop. I want to keep learning, keep meeting people. I want to keep making new friends!”

”Yeah. That sounds good to me.” Alvin closed his eyes, Jude’s confession to Milla echoing in his ears. If Jude could keep going even while dying, unintentionally killing himself with exertion and sunlight, he could stay a little longer by his side. He could keep Jude upright a little longer. He could give him his strength to save his world. There was the rustle of Elize’s skirts as she stood, then the soft press of her lips against his cheek. Alvin looked at her, surprised.

”That’s ‘thank you.’ And I just want you to know, from now on, I’ll be your friend. Okay?” She smiled her sweet smile, somehow mirrored on Teepo’s face. Then she ran back inside, nearly skipping as she went. Alvin watched her go, surprised, his fingers touching where a small bead of warmth was resting on his cheek. After a moment, he stood, heading back as well. He’d need his sleep before they entered the rift.

Milla stood in front of the door to Balan’s, alone, her arms crossed as Alvin walked up. “Hey,” he greeted her, his hand carelessly lifting. She pinned him with a burning crimson gaze, searching deeper than he thought. Then, she started towards him, her arms coming down to her sides. What she was going to do... did she know? How Jude told him, what happened in that orchard? Why he would lend his strength to them no matter what? Alvin kept her gaze as she stopped in front of him, not flinching as she reached out, took his shoulders-

And felt his eyes pop open in shock as she leaned in, kissing his forehead. It was... almost comforting, like a mother to a child. “You know,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly.

”Jude told me,” she answered in return, matter-of-factly. “I was worried you wouldn’t open your eyes and see it, or you would use him instead of see what he really wanted.”

”You-” How could she-?

Her finger rested over his lips. “Some part of him is still me. But another is you. And now I don’t have to worry about either of you.”

Ash stung his eyes, tears building on the lashes. “Why are you so strong?” he asked, his voice barely loud enough to be heard.

Milla stepped back, her lips curled slightly in a smile. “Because of who I am. I am Milla Maxwell, born of the spirit Maxwell, and I will not let those I care about hurt so much. Now get some rest, Alvin. We have a lot to do tomorrow.” She stepped past him, starting down the hall.

”Hey.” Alvin turned, taking a half step towards her. “Your strength... I don’t think I need it anymore.” He watched her blink, confused, as he continued. “I think I have my own. But I- if you’d allow a betraying bastard in, I’d like to add my strength to yours.”

Milla looked at him, alien in her gaze. That inscrutable look... then she smiled, open and honest. “Thank you, Alvin.”

Twin points on his cheek and forehead started to spread, warmth building through his body as he echoed the smile, ash no longer coating his mouth as a small blaze inside him started to live again.


	4. Phoenix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now the very porny ending.

Damn. His partner’s back was turned, unable to see the Antler Beak charging right up on him. Alvin could feel his Lilium Orb shine, but he ignored it as he raised his gun, two well placed shots putting the monster down for good. Lazily, he lifted it over his shoulder, taking in the man he had linked with for this mission, watching him saw off the last Buzzard Talon the client had asked for before cleaning his daggers and sheathing them. Good honest mercenary work was harder than he thought, Alvin reflected as he felt the weight of the link between them, a precaution until they returned to Xian Du. He had to research each job carefully, make sure there wasn’t anything behind it other than simply a task that they couldn’t do themselves. No political gain, no attempt to harm another, just something that had to be done. It was exhausting, and he had turned down more jobs than he wanted to.

The other mercenary eyed him, and Alvin gave him a lazy smile in return. He knew his reputation, and he knew it well. Working with another usually got these kind of looks, the wary kind where he knew they were wondering where Alvin was looking to stick the knife. It had gotten too tiring to explain he had put that behind him, so he tried to prove it with his actions now. Though, he thought ruefully, not like he hadn’t given them all the reason in the world not to trust him. Him helping to find a way for Elympios to live again and his role in dissolving the Schism was ignored when the fact he had been part of Exodus, and had tried to kill Milla Maxwell once came out. Funny how that worked.

“I’ve heard you spend a lot of time in Fennmont,” he heard the mercenary say suddenly. “Some say you have a girl there.”

A snort worked it way out of Alvin’s throat. “You wouldn’t be completely wrong,” he told him vaguely. Somebody, at least. A spot on his forehead warmed, and a soft smile found itself on his lips. “Why, you want to go back alone and take all the reward?”

He bristled, anger spilling off of him speaking of him ready to punch Alvin any second now. “I’m not-”

“Relax.” Alvin waved a lazy hand. “Not like I don’t know you’re pretty jumpy around me. I’m guaranteed a cut of that anyway. Just be careful; you’re pretty careless about watching your   
back.” Without looking to see what the reaction would be, he turned towards Fennmont, waving a hand. “See ya.”

The shift into the night clime of Fennmont never stopped unnerving him. While the clime itself started to become quietly beautiful and less gilded the more he visited, he couldn’t adjust to the shift. Thankfully, once he was in, Alvin could quickly navigate into the city proper. Here, some of the students actually greeted him, knowing his name. He absently lifted a hand in return, then smiled as he saw a familiar woman. “Prinn! Haven’t see you in forever.”

She turned slightly, a small start of remembered panic crossing her eyes before she schooled her features. A bond they share, Alvin thought cynically, one of betraying those who trusted them. And like him, she was trying to atone for what she had done, for the information she had leaked as well as the lack of help that could have saved Agria. “I didn’t know you were going to be in Fennmont today. Does Jude know?”

“Nah.” Alvin winked at her, trying to put his intentions into the gesture. “Just got done with a job near here and my next one isn’t for a while. Thought I’d surprise him. He in today?”

“I just saw him return to his apartment,” came her cautious reply. But she had relaxed a bit, seeing why he was there. “He should be there all night. How is... have you heard from Leia recently?”

Once a week, at least. “She’s been talking about wanting to visit once she gets a day off.” Prinn wasn’t the only one keeping in touch with the spunky girl, and he saw the conflicted feelings cross her face. The need to apologize crossed with guilt, familiar and hard. “Hey. It gets easier. Just got to accept responsibility for it and keep moving.”

Prinn looked at him, then rolled her eyes. “Shouldn’t you be heading to Jude’s apartment?”

To that, he laughed, giving her a small salute. “See you later, Prinn.”

Jude was in. The words hastened his steps, warmth building in his chest as his legs swung up the steps swiftly. Doors passed by him in a blur until the number he needed stopped him, and he rapped his knuckles against the wood. Last time, Jude had been at a talk with Gaius in Kanbalar, and he had to leave before he returned. Alvin knocked again, wondering if Prinn had told him that just to make him leave her when the door creaked open, and an exhausted Jude clothed in sleeping clothes glared at his chest.

“What do you-” Then he turned his face up, and those golden eyes widened. “Alvin! What are you doing here? You didn’t say you were going to be in town.”

He shrugged. “Job finished early.”

Jude stared at him for a moment, his tired brain clicking to put things together before stepping back to let him in. Alvin nodded to the spyrite on her perch, watching Jude walk over to pet Aska in comfort. Damn, he pushed himself too hard again. Traveling during the day, fighting too many monsters, not sleeping enough... There was only so much Aska could do for him. “I really need to go to bed,” Jude started apologetically before he stopped him, hand touching his burning cheek.

“If you’re going to go somewhere, you should really do it in a way that doesn’t make your body stress like this,” Alvin told him seriously. “You’re burning up.”

Jude sighed, leaning into the touch. “I’m tethered to Aska, and I’m going to get sleep. I don’t-”

“Bullshit.” Alvin pulled his hand away so he could shrug out of his jacket, loosening his scarf. “Come on, doctor. If I’m right, this is going to knock you out anyway and you’ll wake up less cranky.”

Golden eyes widened. “I’m not cranky!”

Alvin chuckled, leading him into the bedroom. “Less sexually frustrated, then. Come on, come have dinner.”

Jude grumbled at that, but he leaned slightly into Alvin’s touch. When he bent down to kiss him, Jude reached up to slide his hands through his hair. The scarf slithered to the floor, joined soon by both their shirts. Alvin toyed with his neck a little, giving it little love bites that echoed those given to him. Except his only gave bruises and didn’t break the skin, though Jude found himself trying to hide some of the more conspicuous ones later. Gently, he sat down and pulled the young doctor into his lap, fingers dipping under the band of his pants. Alvin knew the main event was going to have to wait until Jude was fully awake, but as he tilted his head, his hands pulling his hips closer, it didn’t really matter right now. Then pain lanced through him as he felt Jude break through skin, his hips rolling against Alvin’s almost reflexively as he lapped at his throat. One hand pulled itself away from Jude’s ass, coming to push down the front of his pants to grip him firmly, pumping in an urgent rhythm. It never failed to interrupt Jude’s concentration, making him breathe heavily against Alvin’s neck as his hands gripped his upper arms. Then he licked his throat again, shakily, the temperature of his tongue lowered from scorching to merely burning. His warm cheek pressed against Alvin’s as he tried to drink a little more, then gave up, lifting bloody lips to Alvin’s. The kiss was scattered, needy, uneven as Jude started to gasp, his limbs trembling, pulling Alvin closer as pleasure spun thinner and thinner until-

It broke, climax spilling over him as he gripped Alvin tightly. He kissed Jude’s neck, still moving his hand until he felt his grip loosen. With one gentle arm, he laid a drowsing Jude out on the bed, being careful not to let the hand covered in fluid touch anything. An amused snort tried to work its way out of his throat as he realized he knew exactly where the washcloths were, not to mention the first aid kit when Jude passed out like this after. He made sure his hand and Jude were clean first, adjusting the doctor’s pants and pulling the blanket up as he heard the snores fall softly from his lips.

It was almost domestic.

* * *

The next morning, Jude woke up to Alvin holding him tightly, an erection pressed firmly against his ass. Alvin woke to Jude kissing him, already straddling him needily. His lips curled in a smile as he stroked a hand across his back, getting a breathy groan in response.

“I was too tired to fully enjoy it last night,” Jude informed him, hands going to his pants. Alvin’s eyebrow raised as Jude started to pull them down, then grinned wolfishly as he lifted his hips to aid in removing them. The other’s pants were stripped just as quickly, and Alvin’s hand blindly reached for the nightstand. The bottle of oil had to be- there. He dropped one hand, lightly teasing the tight hole with a dry finger. Jude groaned, pressing back into the touch. “Alvin, just- fuck me already. Stop-”

Alvin continued to rub him lightly, not entering him. Not yet, not like this, not dry. “You want to be on top or hands and knees?”

He shuddered at the question, breath tumbling out shakily as lashes closed over golden eyes. “Hands- hands and knees.”

The hand lifted, tangling in that dark hair as he kissed him. “Then get off me and assume the position.”

Jude could not comply faster. The sight made Alvin swallow, his eyes watching as Jude pressed his forehead against the bed, trembling slightly with need. “You still tethered with Aska?”

“Y-yeah. Alvin...”

Oil spread easily onto his fingers, and eased the way in. A shaking breath escaped Jude’s lips as Alvin’s fingers worked in and out, curling slightly as he came close to where he knew that spot was, that little knot where Jude would- His head suddenly came up as his fingers pressed into it, gasping. He pushed back with a whine, fingers knotting in the bed sheet. Yeah, that was enough for Alvin to want it, for him to pull his fingers out and slick oil onto himself, pressing in with a groan. Even after taking care of the burn, Jude was always so hot. So good. He gripped Jude’s hip as he started to move, eyes closing slightly. It started slowly, he had to, he didn’t want to just fuck him wildly without worrying about Jude-

Who was gasping and pressing his head against the bed. “Deeper,” he moaned, his fingers convulsing on the sheets. “Deeper, Alvin. Harder.”

Well, who was he to ignore that? Alvin snapped his hips forward sharply, pulling Jude closer to him, getting a pleasured cry in return. Each push of his hips earned him a loud cry, until finally Alvin leaned forward and wrapped his hand around Jude, hand stroking quickly until he cried out loudly, nearly screaming as he came. Finally done, Alvin thrust a few more time then followed, a harsh grunt escaping his throat. Limbs unable to hold himself up anymore, Jude fell onto his side, breaths coming quickly and harshly. Carefully, Alvin brushed his cheek, relaxing as he felt merely warmth instead of a burn. Tethering to Aska during sex was definitely the way to go.

“Good morning. I don’t know about you, but I could go for breakfast now,” Alvin told him, getting a laugh and a swat from Jude in return.

* * *

It was during dinner Jude turned quiet, reflective. The day had been pretty normal, with Jude doing his research and Alvin occasionally distracting him with kisses, groping, and once pressing his mouth against the line of his cock through his pants, turning his chair away from the desk to suck him off. But now-

“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you.” It wasn’t even going to be a question, not anymore.

“I miss her,” Jude confessed. “I know she’s not dead, but it... it’s almost like she is. We can’t see her anymore, can’t visit her.”

The warmth on Alvin’s forehead returned, burning gently. “I know. I miss her too, kid. You’re not the only one that loved her. We all did.”

Jude looked at him, golden eyes so sharp, as if he could look right through him. That’s always how it was, wasn’t it? Jude could always look through the masks. But this time, there were no masks, honesty in every word. Finally, he nodded, going back to his food.

“You’re going to leave tomorrow. You have a job lined up somewhere.”

He shrugged. “Gotta try to do this thing called an honest living. And anyway, you actually have to get some research done and not get fucked by me all day. Not saying that wouldn’t be fun, but I think you actually want to keep your funding.”

Jude blushed at that. “That- well-”

Alvin leaned in, lowering his voice as if there was another person that could overhear them. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you blow a day off to spend it in bed with me,” he told him, watching the blush crawl further down his neck and across his ears before Jude smacked him again.

* * *

Jude had to go out that next day. The materials he needed were in the library, and he would have to run a few experiments with Aska. Even though he had been tethered to Aska as soon as he had figured out it would help control the burn, there was still a lot he didn’t know about spyrites, and about Aska. As he watched Jude leave, Alvin leaned against the door frame. The kid had grown up a lot since he first met him. Hell, so had he. Never thought he would have ended up here, working honest work, owning up to everything he had done, and having a steady lover. He pushed off the frame, pulling out the spare key Jude had given him so he could lock up.

Something made him stop. A feeling. He turned, looking out the hallway. The window looking out... the light seemed dimmer. Like something was interfering with the mana. Alvin stepped closer, then stopped. He reached up, hand going right through the comforting sensation of being held. Warmth blossomed on his forehead again, a kiss not remembered this time. He laughed softly, head tilting back.

“I think we both know,” he told the new spirit Maxwell. “Don’t worry about us.”

He felt a soft burn reborn spread through his chest as he turned back, locking the door deftly then moving to leave. But he felt the comforting presence the whole time, knowing Jude would too. Knowing that even now, she would still be watching over them, making sure they would be okay.

It would all be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Thank you, for reading my first foray into the Tales of Xillia fandom. To everyone that read this, gave it kudos, commented... just thank you so much. This started as just a side story to do when my others gave me too much grief, and it turned into something I really got into. I'm not sure if I'll write more for this fandom - at the moment, there are no ideas - but thank everyone so much for reading this. It means a lot.


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